I was only falling in love.

Letter 1.

“Love is choosing to stay committed” My best friend said to me. I just told her about you. You don’t know but we met a week ago.

You were breathtaking. I tried to search for a word that would properly describe your essence but i realised that the word was made more beautiful because i was using it to describe you.

Why didn’t i see you sooner? I kept thinking to myself as my bestfriend lectured me on staying committed to my present relationship.

Letter 2.

I see you every morning, when you take a jog around the estate. Everytime, i hope you’d catch a glimpse of me but you don’t. Am i invisible because to you because someone currently holds my heart?

Notice me once and i’d gleefully take my heart back and give it to you.

I think, would i disgust you if you knew me?

Would you think i was a bad person for loving someone else while in a “committed” relationship?

Letter 3.

I heard your name today. Someone called out to you.

Zain.

It makes a lot of sense that you have such a name.

Now i can start every letter i write with your name, even if you’d probably never get them.

I stood at the entrance and stared at my boyfriend, in bed with a woman that wasn’t me.

Why wasn’t i hurt?

I could feel my face begging to break out into a smile.

I gently retreated and closed the door.

“Amanda” he kept calling but the happiness i felt drowned out his voice.

I stopped at the mirror in the hallway to check that i looked good. I did.

I walked calmly, trying to hide my joy until i got to the frontdoor of Zain.

I knocked on the door, a gentle smile playing on my face.

The door opens gently and the calmness which with it opened filled me up.

“Yes?” A foggy voice answered.

A pair of brown eyes that was filled with tears stared right at me.

I stared back.

“I’m.. I’d like to see Zain please”, i stammered.

The woman burst into tears.

“He’s gone”. She said, tears falling down her face.

Letter 4.

Zain, i’m sorry.

I should have reached out sooner.

Now, I have to live with the thought of never having experienced you.

I was a coward .. but maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have repulsed you afterall.