Ghost

I refuse to come to terms with the fact that i still felt something for him. It’s been almost 2 years and there i was, sitting and thinking of him.

Maybe there was a part of me that just still cared for him and nothing more.

I mean, we were friends.

I fidgeted and scratched myself repeatedly as i contemplated reaching out to him.

My heart was beating at the speed which light travels and I desperately didn’t want it to be beating for him.

Maybe it was the fear or just the adrenaline of thinking of reaching out to someone i hadn’t for a long time.

Should i? Should i not?

I picked up my phone and texted him.

“Hey?” I wrote.

I closed my eyes hoping i got a response and i had no idea when sleep took over.

I opened my eyes and picked up my phone. No response.

My heart stopped beating for a moment as I remembered that he was dead.

I sighed and sent a message to my therapist while hoping God loved him better than i do since he took him.